Thursday, 20 September 2018
The candy eater
I was walking with my friends to hang out. My Friends were very noisy and crazy. It turned like a disaster until we saw a candy shop. After awhile we went inside. One of my friends well Antonette was screaming to death. Antonette was drooling with her eyes wide open. I wasn’t that surprised at Antonette. A few minutes later we were going but there is one problem. Antonette was rushing to get all the candy. Then she got kinda small. I didn’t really care cause it was her choice. After Antonette eating all the candy she went home to lose some weight. I’m sure she won’t lose weight said Siale. The next morning Antonette stayed up till five, she lost abit of weight but she always eat candy with her other friends. So we hanged out again to see if the candy shop is closed. As we walked there was lots of people complained” Where is the candy?!?!” “WHY??!!?!?”. Everyone was so sad without the candy shop. Antonette felt so sad, so she went home to cry on her unicorn. “Unicorns Why? Why have I done This Unicorn things?”Antonette Stared at candy, Until She made a idea. She made a store with lots of candy. More than One million.
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Kia ora Zipporah, it's Antonette from St.Bernadette's School.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you made your story very funny. I really like the part here your story says “Unicorns Why? Why have I done This Unicorn things?” Maybe next time you could check your spelling so that your story makes more sense. Keep up the great work Zipporah!
Bonjour Zipporah, it's Siale from St Bernadatte's School,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the way you made the story funny the part I liked the most was when you said "Oh Mah Gash". Something I think you could work on is maybe your spelling and make sure that everything is correct and maybe to put in more detail next time but apart from that everything is amazing. Keep up the awesome work Zipporah!